Real Lyrics to Great Songs

We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf,
But we shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
So we tried, and gave up, cuz there was no such song,
But the trying was very revealing:

What makes a person so poisonous righteous,
That they’d think less of anyone, who just disagrees?
She’s just a pacifist, he’s just a patriot.
If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me?

Fighters for liberty,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.

Don’t tell me I can’t fight ’cause I’ll punch out your lights
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me.

So we read, and we watched
All the specially selected news,
And we learned so much more about the good guys.

“Won’t you stand by the flag?”
Was the question unasked,
“Won’t you join in and fight with the allies?”

What could we say? We’re only 25 years old,
With 25 sweet summers, and hot fires in the cold.
This kind of life makes that violence unthinkable.
We’d like to play hockey, have kids and grow old.

Fighters for Texaco,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.

Don’t tell me I can’t fight ’cause I’ll punch out your lights,
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me,
That us would fight them for we.

He’s just a peacenik,
And she’s just a war-hawk.
That’s where the beach was,
That’s where the sea.

What could we say? We’re only 25 years old,
And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me,
That us would fight them for we.
Is that how it always will be

Up in Downsview where the skies are grey
I can take my Mazda down the old parkway
>From what they tell me I just make a right
To the place that’s jumping every day and night.

Well, I’m glad to say I’m on my way
To where ducks and jugglers and children play
I may be stuck in traffic, but I’m on the hunt
Gonna find my harbour down at Harbourfront.

Pleasure bound I started walking around
It took me half an hour to find some grassy ground
I spread my blanket, but I got no sun
Just the shadow of the condominium

Well, I’m sad to say they blocked the way
They took my view and my naivete
I saw lots of condos, but to be blunt
I didn’t see no harbour down at Harbourfront.

Hey! Is there no Metro plan?
There’s no need for a cultural home
So tell me what do you say alderman?
Build a casino with lots of chrome.
Take 10 story, 20 story, 30 story Lunch!
There’s no need for a cultural home
We’re gonna solve that intangible budget crunch!
Pave the harbour from the shore to the ‘Dome.

I took my problem to so many doors
To the Feds, Queen’s Park, and councillors
They sent me on to a businessman
Who said “son, listen up, I understand”

“You see, I’m glad to say you’ll get your way
Your Authorsfest and your Children’s Day
That artsy stuff, spring, summer, fall
On parking level three of HarbourMall!”

Say, see where the art used to be?
Back to business at HarbourMall
Skydome’s a runt next to King Harbourfront
Give the business to HarbourMall.

So now I see the situation’s clear
We’ll have HarbourFun every day of the year
Under HarbourMall’s roof I’ll get my sun
With the tanning salon and Mr. Eggleton.

Well, I’m glad to say we got our way
The Authorsfest and the Children’s Day
All that artsy stuff, spring, summer, fall
On parking level three of HarbourMall…

…HarbourMall fun in the city

My sister Sue and me were doing stunts with electric trains
She said she’d do my dishes, so I handed her the reins
And she engineered a collision steered by a hand-eye protege
Before my train set started burning I heard my sister say

Look straight at the coming disaster
Realize what you’ve lost
You keep handing out horseshoes
Horseshoes have gotta be tossed.

I dreamed I went to heaven ’cause I told my lover lies
When I woke up I went to her and looked her in the eyes
I said “help me cry, ’cause I can’t deny this union’s feeling wrong”
Then a flshback to the dream and angels singing songs

Look straight at the coming disaster
Realize what you’ve lost
You keep handing out horseshoes
Horseshoes have gotta be tossed
Horseshoes have gotta be tossed.

Don’t push the river; if you love it, set it free
I said “go on and see him, you can still come home to me”
I was satisfied, God was on our side
‘Cause we’re freer than the birds.
Sent me a letter. I didn’t read it.
I already knew the words

Look straight at the coming disaster
Realize what you’ve lost
You keep handing out horseshoes
Horseshoes have gotta be tossed.
Horseshoes have gotta be tossed

Jian on lead)
He can’t stand a loss
He’s always cross
His name is Ross… my [boss]
I love my boss

I love my boss
He isn’t full of fluff and gloss
He gives me work and many chores to do
My model, like Ben Cartwright to Hoss

And though he pays me minimum wage
It’s all I deserve at this stage
Some union hack said I should ask for more
I answered with suitable rage

I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss

One day I came to work too late
I’d had a Früvous luncheon date
My boss he summoned me to speak with him
I sweated, awaiting my fate
He said “you’re done!”
He chased me two blocks with a gun
But my dear boss let me apologize
In hindsite, there wasn’t a gun.

(Mike)
He’s going out now with my sister
They go real heavy on the sauce
I’d like to tell him watch out mister
But he’s the boss
My friends they say that I am clinging
Ask why I’m carrying this cross
Who knows what club-med will be bringing
From dear old boss

(spoken by Jian)
Examples

(All)
Bosses through the ages prove
They’re the ones who make it move
Bewitched would have an empty plate
If it weren’t for Larry Tate
Clark Kent reached the highest height
With the help of Perry White
And if we may be retrograde
Speak the name Reuben Kincaid

(Jian)
Now the other workers all say “Wow!”
When I roll over and I shake a paw
My boss is my brother-in-law

(All)
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss

From the Liner:
1990- Whistle while you work

These lyrics represent the original version of the song as closely as
possible. (Thanks to the Früvous Pages for these…)

He can’t stand a loss
He’s always cross
His name is Ross…
I love my boss

I love my boss
He isn’t full of fluff and gloss
He gives me work and many chores to do
My model, like Ben Cartwright to Hoss

And though he pays me minimum wage
It’s all I deserve at this stage
Some union hack said I should ask for more
I answered with suitable rage

I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss

One day I came to work too late
I’d had a Fruvous luncheon date
My boss he summoned me to speak with him
I sweated, awaiting my fate
He said “you’re gone!”
It was just like the wrath of Khan
But my dear boss let me apologize
I love him, and I had been wrong

He’s going out now with my sister
They go real heavy on the sauce
I’d like to tell him watch out mister
But he’s the boss
My friends they say that I am clinging
Ask why I’m carrying this cross
Who knows what x-mas will be bringing
From dear old boss
Bosses through the ages prove
They’re the ones who make it move
Bewitched would have an empty plate
If it weren’t for Larry Tate
Clark Kent reached the highest height
With the help of Perry White
And if we may be retrograde
Speak the name Reuben Kincaid
Now I’ve really kicked the sacred cow
I’ve got me working on the night shift
When my boss is out on the town
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss
I love my boss