I feel ill with words of repentance and love.
i could never forget what i felt like to feel my heart drop
and watch as lonely insects swarmed around it
and fed off like a disease to a diagnosed patient.
you no longer see me. what am i doing but holding back tears and thinking of
you.
with this tainted image of me.
with no longer love but disappointment.
i’m still here.
i just forgot i was human for a second
and that i can’t just be some image.
i have error.
i long to hear your voice again untainted with openness.
i’m sorry for what i have done.
i’m sorry. what have i done?
and for what i have done i am truly sorry.
words for you are like my pot of gold.
let me not have spent my riches but without this friendship i feel poor.
though i will still reflect on what we had and all of the potential…
tonight will be a long night.
i fight my sinkin eyelids so i can watch her dreaming of the last safe place.
feather floors for bare feet.
without even the first idea she will be lost to me.
i barely believe i let it be.
i will have to see that she will be lost to me.
i didn’t mean it as a lie.
when i promised to be your contender.
an air stream of doubt cut me apart.
every feather blown away.
it’s going to be hard.
on her soft feet.
Jhazmyne needs her sleep just as badly as me.
Jhazmyne needs to sleep.
i know you’ll make it.
be strong i love you.
you have given me a windo into my own inner human spirit and it’s warmed my heart.
like the powerless hand of a helpless child here i am afraid to touch the light i’ve felt inside.
i’ll see to it that this breath of doubt will be the last i’ll ever draw.
i ask only to act upon the beliefs i’ve so strongly spoken.
i’m insulted and disgusted with myself.
and with every brave step forward i can justify the sacrifice.
i belong to you. be with me now.
she awaits far more the smell of dandelion.
love dripping with blood.
a mask to cover her hate and a hand to cover the mouth.
he bites away at her face like cracks to concrete she breaks.
like concrete to cracks she remains.
in still life frame covered in dust.
a perfumed love sickens to his eyes.
she gently strokes the heartache he lives for.
and pounds a beating rhythm against hers as the walls still drip with blood.
off her hands shielding the face of tears that endlessly love…
warning arms of compassion through blue skies of desperate lies.
as concrete to fists tonight rains.
bloodhsed. she dies.
Some nights it really gets to me and this right now is killing me.
unsure as forever. with eyes so wide.
it’s as clear as day.
a wavering frightened glance.
promise not to cry.
one tears released the flood.
sorrow blinks to brightness of day.
be strong.
i faked a smile that crumbled under sunday morning’s sky.
apologize 10,000 times for days run over forever in my mind.
but middle ground has given way and where to step is now what i face.
no one to have. no hand to hold.
i suppress my position as a means to silence the truth.
tormented by my every undying devotion to you.
i cry terrified the truth will never calm.
but for now if i can just push on and forget all will be all right.